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- A senior citizen in Alabama says if he makes it to heaven he hopes he won't have to stand in line and fill out a bunch of forms.
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- A senior citizen is one who remembers when a senior citizen was called an old-timer.
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- "A senior citizen in Indiana reports, "I'm getting old. I took my first airplane flight yesterday and the stewardess asked if I wanted coffee, tea, or Geritol.""
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- "A senior citizen's "swinging party" is where they spike the punch with Geritol."
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- A senior citizen in Nebraska says his memory is so poor he can't even remember all the words to Happy Birthday!
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