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- "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
- Rodney Dangerfield
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- "The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
- Rodney Dangerfield
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- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!
- Rodney Dangerfield
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- "I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people."
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- I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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