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- An optimist looks at an oyster and expects a pearl; the pessimist expects ptomaine poison.
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- Nothing worries the pessimist like the optimist who says there's nothing to worry about.
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- For some reason a pessimist always complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.
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- "A California pessimist carries a card in his wallet that reads, "In case of an accident -- I'm not surprised.""
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- A pessimist can hardly wait for the future so he can look back with regret.
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