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- "Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave/ When they think that their children are naive."
- Ogden Nash
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- "Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows."
- "Al Unser, Jr."
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- "I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years.""
- Erma Bombeck
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- I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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- "I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."
- Roseanne Barr
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