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- Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
- Douglas Adams
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- To give an accurate description of what has never occurred is the proper occupation of the historian.
- Oscar Wilde
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- "If I didn't start painting, I would have raised chickens."
- Grandma Moses
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- All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them.
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- After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
- Fred Allen
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