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- I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''
- Erma Bombeck
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- Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
- Abigail Van Buren
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- "God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers"
- Jewish Proverb
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- "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
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- You' re not famous until my mother has heard of you.
- Jay Leno
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