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- There must be something to acupuncture -- you never see any sick porcupines.
- Bob Goddard
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- "When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place."
- Jimmy Breslin
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- Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine.'
- Bob Hope
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- "After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse."
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- "Some tortures are physical and some are mental, but the one that's both is dental."
- Ogden Nash
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