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- "A lawyer in Utah recently reported that he is instructing his son in the "alleged" facts of life."
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- A lawyer is a glib-tongued fellow who defends your property from an enemy in order to save it for himself.
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- A successful criminal lawyer in Montana reports that he has found several loopholes in the Ten Commandments.
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- "A lawyer can dictate sixty-two single-spaced pages and call it a "brief.""
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- A lawyer is always willing to spend your last dollar to prove he's right.
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