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- "If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."
- Joey Adams
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- Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
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- "If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business."
- Joey Adams
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- "Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs."
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- People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
- Joey Adams
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