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- Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.
- Gerald F. Lieberman
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- Some men celebrate the Fourth of July by buying a fifth on the third.
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- What distinguishes Independence Day from all other days is that then both orators and artillerymen shoot blank cartridges.
- John Burroughs
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- We have killed more people celebrating Independence Day than we lost fighting for it.
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- Independence Day is the day married men celebrate something they once had.
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