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- A hypochondriac is a man with an infinite capacity for finding pains.
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- A hypochondriac is a sick woman whose affliction is a healthy imagination.
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- A hypochondriac is always suffering from an habitual lack of ailments.
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- A hypochondriac is the man who stays at home when he's the only one in the office without a cold.
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- "A hypochondriac spends half her time talking about illnesses she hasn't got, and the other half not listening to her friends talk about illnesses they have got."
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