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- "A hunter in West Virginia climbed a fence while carrying a cocked rifle. He's survived by his wife, five kids, and one rabbit."
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- Accidents happen every hunting season because both hunter and gun are loaded.
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- "If lions painted, there would be many more pictures of lions killing men than men killing lions."
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- A big game hunter always kills more flies than animals.
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- "Most men brag about their hunting experiences, though they're chiefly confined to shooting pool, craps, and bull."
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