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- Summer is the season when the men who have not been wearing felt hats all winter change to not wearing straw hats.
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- "Charity covers a multitude of sins, but hats cover more sinners."
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- Milliners never seem to have any difficulty discovering geometrical shapes wholly unknown to mathematicians.
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- "A candidate needs four hats: one to cover his head with, another to throw into the ring, a third to pass around, and finally one to talk through."
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- Blessed are the poor: a poor woman pays three dollars instead of twenty-five for a three-dollar hat.
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