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- A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
- Groucho Marx
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- "Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you."
- Groucho Marx
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- "Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age."
- Groucho Marx
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- He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot
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- From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
- Groucho Marx
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