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- A grandmother is a baby sitter who watches the kids instead of the television.
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- Nothing makes a boy smarter than being a grandson.
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- "Another thing "so simple a child can operate" is a grandparent."
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- "By the time a couple can afford to go out evenings, they have to babysit with the grandchildren."
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- "Grandparents are people who come to your house, spoil the children, and then go home."
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