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- "I'm fascinated by historical trivia. For example, George Washington had trouble flossing because his teeth kept catching fire."
- Gary Apple
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- "George Washington could broadjump twenty-three feet, which was a record in those days. Today we have politicians who can sidestep farther than that."
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- "When George Washington threw the dollar across the Rappahannock River, he didn't realize he was establishing a precedent for government spending."
- Harold Coffin
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- "If the dollar bill shrinks much more, George Washington will be forced to get a haircut."
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- Water pollution is getting worse each passing day. If George Washington were alive today he could roll that dollar across the Potomac.
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