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- Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty five I still had pimples.
- George Burns
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- "I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something."
- George Burns
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- Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
- George Burns
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- Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
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- If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred.
- George Burns
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