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- I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise.
- Barry Gray
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- "We are admonished to "Keep Smiling," but if we do we're going to look mighty silly at a funeral."
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- Funerals are very expensive; that's why people rarely have them until the last minute.
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- "I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it."
- Mark Twain
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