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- "Some men desert their families, but most missing fathers are merely looking for a parking place."
- Unknown
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- Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
- Martin Mull
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- "A family consists of a husband who gets an idea, the kids who say it can't be done, and the wife who does it."
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- "A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
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- "All men are brothers, but, thank God, they aren't all brothers-in-law."
- Anthony Powell
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