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- "It costs me never a stab nor squirm/ To tread by chance upon a worm./ 'Aha, my little dear,' I say,/ 'Your clan will pay me back one day.'"
- Dorothy Parker
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- "On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down."
- Woody Allen
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- What I like about Clive/ Is that he is no longer alive./ There is a great deal to be said/ For being dead.
- Edmund Clerihew Bentley
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- "For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
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- "It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- Woody Allen
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