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- "Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace by giving our kids rockets, machine guns, atom-bomb kits, and tanks."
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- Christmas is when your neighbor's television keeps you awake until the early hours of the morning playing Silent Night.
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- Christmas is the day when you resolve to do your Christmas shopping early next year.
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- An unbreakable Christmas toy is one that's guaranteed to last through the New Year.
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- Anyone who thinks Christmas doesn't last all year doesn't have a charge account.
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