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- "Christmas is the season of good will to all, except to those who failed to reciprocate last year's Christmas gift."
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- Christmas is the season when all good men and true have presence of mind and presents in mind.
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- "If you really want your friends to remember you next Christmas, give them a very expensive gift or a very cheap one."
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- Anyone who ever got the right sized gloves as a Christmas gift would have a fit.
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- "Christmas is the season when gifts are gladly given, happily received and cheerfully refunded."
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