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- The average man is able to detect a rattle in his car more quickly than one in his head.
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- "The average man has sixty-nine pounds of muscle, forty-one pounds of bone, three pounds of brain - which seems to explain a lot of things."
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- The worst thing about the average man is that there are so many of them.
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- The average man doesn't usually increase his average.
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- The average man now lives thirty-one years longer than he did in 1850. He has to in order to get his taxes paid.
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