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- Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
- Helen Hayes
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- By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
- George Burns
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- "I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now -- I'm booked."
- George Burns
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- One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young.
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- He is so old that his blood type was discontinued.
- Bill Dana
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